Creating a Personal Rule of Life
This little essay attempts to address whether any of us can "improve" our day to day lives by learning from the mystics and mystical rules.
Creating a Personal Rule of Life is a practice drawn from ancient Christian monasticism and adapted for contemporary people who seek intentional, integrated, and spiritually grounded living amid modern complexity. The word rule comes from the Latin regula, meaning a guide or pattern, not a set of rigid laws. Historically, monastic rules such as those of Benedict, Augustine, or Basil were not primarily about discipline for its own sake. They were practical frameworks designed to order daily life around love of God, love of neighbor, and personal transformation. A personal Rule of Life borrows this wisdom while translating it into forms suitable for people who live outside monasteries, with jobs, families, civic responsibilities, and digital lives.
At its heart, a Rule of Life is a consciously chosen way of life that aligns one’s time, relationships, work, rest, and spiritual practices with deeply held values and commitments. It answers the question, how shall I live so that my life is shaped by what matters most rather than by habit, pressure, or distraction. Monastic rules recognized that spiritual growth does not happen by intention alone. It requires structure. Repeated practices form the soul just as repeated physical actions form the body. Modern people face similar challenges of fragmentation and distraction, even if the sources are different. A Rule of Life provides a gentle but firm container within which freedom, attentiveness, and depth can grow.
Borrowing from monasticism means adopting several core insights rather than copying monastic schedules wholesale. First is the integration of prayer and daily life. Monks and nuns structured their days around regular rhythms of prayer, work, and rest. A modern Rule of Life seeks a similar integration, acknowledging that spiritual life is not confined to worship services or private devotion but permeates ordinary activities. This might include daily prayer practices such as silence, scripture reading, or contemplative prayer, alongside intentional approaches to work, family life, and civic engagement. The goal is not to add spiritual activities on top of an already crowded life, but to let spirituality shape how existing responsibilities are lived.
Second, monastic rules emphasize balance and sustainability. The Rule of Benedict, for example, is notable for its moderation. It avoids extremes and adapts practices to human limits. This principle is crucial for modern adaptations. A personal Rule of Life should be realistic and life giving rather than aspirational to the point of exhaustion. It recognizes seasons of life and allows for change. A young parent, a retiree, and a full time caregiver will not live by the same rhythms, and a Rule of Life must honor those differences. What matters is faithfulness to a sustainable pattern, not heroic intensity.
Third, monastic wisdom highlights the formative power of repetition and habit. Spiritual maturity is shaped less by dramatic experiences than by small, faithful practices repeated over time. A modern Rule of Life often includes daily, weekly, monthly, and annual rhythms. Daily practices might involve prayer, mindful transitions, or limits on technology. Weekly rhythms could include communal worship, Sabbath rest, or intentional meals with others. Monthly or seasonal practices might involve self examination, spiritual direction, fasting, or acts of service. Annual rhythms often include retreats, pilgrimage, or extended times of reflection. These rhythms create a sense of sacred time that resists the constant urgency of modern life.
Tailoring a Rule of Life to modern people also requires attentiveness to contemporary challenges. One major concern is digital saturation. Unlike monastic communities, modern individuals live in environments of constant connectivity and information overload. Many personal Rules of Life now include intentional boundaries around technology, such as device free times, limits on social media, or practices of digital Sabbath. These boundaries are not anti technology but pro attention, protecting the capacity for presence, prayer, and deep relationships.
Another modern adaptation involves vocational integration. For monks, work was often manual labor within the monastery. For contemporary people, work is diverse and often fragmented. A personal Rule of Life helps individuals reflect on how their work expresses vocation, service, and ethical commitment. It may include practices of intentional beginning and ending of the workday, prayerful attention to colleagues and clients, or commitments to justice, sustainability, and compassion within professional life.
Community is another essential element, both borrowed and adapted. Monastic rules assume life in community, with shared practices and mutual accountability. Modern people often live more isolated lives, so a personal Rule of Life must intentionally cultivate relationships. This may involve participation in a faith community, small groups, spiritual friendships, or practices of hospitality. Even when the rule is personal, it is not meant to be solitary. Growth is deepened through shared life and accountability.
Importantly, a personal Rule of Life is not static. Monastic rules themselves evolved over time, and modern rules should be revisited regularly. Many people review their rule annually, often during a retreat or reflective season, asking what has been life giving, what has become burdensome, and what new realities need to be acknowledged. This ongoing discernment keeps the rule responsive rather than rigid.
Ultimately, Creating a Personal Rule of Life is about freedom rather than control. It is a way of reclaiming agency in how one lives, choosing formation over drift. By borrowing the wisdom of monasticism and thoughtfully tailoring it to contemporary realities, modern people can cultivate lives marked by depth, balance, attentiveness, and love. The Rule becomes a quiet companion, guiding daily choices toward a coherent and meaningful whole.